Title: Of All the Things She Ever Said
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, femmeslash, angst
Word Count: 399
Summary: Of all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'might have been.'
I watch her laugh, and she seems so happy. I can’t remember her looking at me with quite that smile or with that glint in her eye.
I remember her lazy smile as we lay in front of the fire, half naked and smelling like berry lotions. I remember the twinkle as our eyes met with a shared secret. But not this, never this happiness.
You make me so happy. I still hear those words from her lips. Not this happy, I think.
It hurts my heart, makes me want to double up with the sheer unrelenting agony of knowing she’ll never be mine again, and I’ll never have a chance to see if I could make her look like that.
I straighten my shoulders, paste on my happy face and turn toward Draco. I feel like my misery must be evident to the world, but my former housemate is fooled.
You’re so easy to read, for a Slytherin. I love that about you.
When did I become this good at pretending?
“How are you enjoying the party?” he asks, gesturing about the once-again grand ballroom of Malfoy Manor.
“It’s brilliant, as always,” I reply, and it’s sincere, for the decorations are perfect, as are the music, the atmosphere. She’s brilliant as well, but it’s a brilliance that blinds painfully, a diamond scrapping against my soul.
I can’t do this anymore, Millie. There’s no future for us.
My parents want me to marry.
Draco looks gratified and a little proud. He’s come far in the years since school.
Draco is so good to me. Can you be happy for me, please?
I wish I didn’t hate him sometimes.
She comes over, kisses Draco’s cheek. “Hi, Millie. I’m so glad you came.” Her smile is genuine—she is glad—but pain is hidden underneath. It makes me feel a little better that mine isn’t the only pain.
Of all the things she ever said to me, though, the one that hurts and helps the most is this: I will always love you. You will always be my friend.
“Astoria.” Her name is ambrosia. We exchange a very proper hug and kiss on the cheek. She still smells like raspberries; I wonder if she still notices I smell like strawberries. “I’ve missed you. It’s so very good to see you,” I tell her.
And it is. So very, very good.
A/N: Wetting my feet in femmeslash just a smidge. Let me know what you think.