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12 June 2009 @ 10:49 pm
Fic: De-Nial Runs Through Russia  
Title: De-Nial Runs Through Russia
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Rating/Warnings: R for language, slash, and domestic abuse
Word Count: 386
Characters: McCoy/Chekov
Prompt: From st_xi_kink: McCoy/Chekov, established relationship - domestic violence, codependency. McCoy only hits him when he's drunk. Trouble is, these days he's hardly ever sober. Bonus points if you end with why Chekov always stays: McCoy's sorry when he's sober, they really do love each other, Chekov's too young to know any better, whatever.
Summary: He's sorry, so sorry. Always so damned sorry.


He's sorry, so sorry. Always so damned sorry. Tracing the bruises with those long fingered hands, soothing away the hurts. Hurts that, Pavel always manages to forget, he gave with those same damned hands.

Pavel closes his eyes as those competent hands brush across his face, which is unmarked--this time. Leonard (some days Pavel thinks no one but he calls the doctor by his real name) is gentle now, and lips brush over his. There is still the lingering taste of alcohol, but he isn't drunk right now. No, this is the tiny, closet-sized space of time after the man is finished being hung over and before the drinking starts again for the day.

The young man leans into the kiss, needy, silently screaming for reassurance. If people knew, they would tell him to leave, but he cannot leave. No, he loves Leonard 'Bones' McCoy. And Leonard loves him, or else he wouldn't be this damned sorry. He only hit him when he was drunk.

Pavel doesn't let himself think that these days, his lover is almost always drunk. He shuts up the knowledge in the deepest recesses of his brilliant mind. De-nial, it apparently ran through parts of Russia as well.

"Love you." The words were gruff but Pavel welcomes the feel of the utterance against his skin. Gentler than fists, perhaps closer to the smoothing effects of sandpaper. He needed to hear them.

The love-making is slow and almost completely enjoyable--he makes no mention of how uncomfortable the bruise on his back makes him. This is enough for him, he tells himself. This gentleness is why he stays.

He goes to work not long afterward, gets lost in the job and his equations and is late to get back because he lost track of time. (No, nyet, nyet, not his mind procrastinating walking in the door. Never that.) The first punch isn't as much of a surprise as Pavel pretends it is, and the apologies poor out of his mouth, in English, in Russian, in Polish and in others. Sorry he's late, sorry he forgot, sorry he was busy.

Tears soak the pillow after Leonard passes out, and eventually Pavel goes to sleep. The morning is slow, Leonard takes painkillers for his hangover, and he's sorry, so sorry. Always so damned sorry.


A/N: Not a pairing a really care for, but the angst demon grabbed at me and I had to do it.
 
 
 
Loren: trek;; pointy-eared bastard.wolfishinsanity on June 13th, 2009 03:42 am (UTC)
GODDAMMIT.

;~;

Loren: trek;; endangered species.wolfishinsanity on June 13th, 2009 03:42 am (UTC)
WRONG ICON. DAMMIT.
It's better to fly and it's better to diegelsey on June 13th, 2009 03:45 am (UTC)
Awww.

Sorry for the sadness!

I will be posting crack probably tomorrow, though...
Loren: quinto;; lol!facewolfishinsanity on June 13th, 2009 03:54 am (UTC)
No, don't be sorry. Angst=my crack. xD

OH HELL YES. Well-written crack. ME LIKEY.
It's better to fly and it's better to die: Text - creativity is a drug i cannot livgelsey on June 13th, 2009 03:59 am (UTC)
I <3 angst way too much for my own good. I rarely write crack, but when I do, it's definitely crack.
Lorenwolfishinsanity on June 14th, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
Oh god, me too. I don't know why, but I love it when characters are emotionally tortured. Makes for extra sweet good times, I guess. xD

Sounds fantastic. :D
Shea Pierceriviyan_questa on June 13th, 2009 06:39 am (UTC)
I'm never write sure what to say about angsty stories. Anyway, I uh, enjoyed it? Very well written.
It's better to fly and it's better to diegelsey on June 13th, 2009 07:14 pm (UTC)
Lol. Is fine! Just whatever comes to mind. Thanks for reading!
okmewriting: angel_elficonsokmewriting on June 13th, 2009 09:07 pm (UTC)
Oh dear. Poor Pavel. I liked it but oh dear.
It's better to fly and it's better to diegelsey on June 13th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
I know. Poor baby! Thanks for reading!
Smudge the Rat-girl: Masterdirty_smudge on June 13th, 2009 09:35 pm (UTC)
Yay for Chekov abuse! (Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant to say, this is lovely and heartbreaking and that's why I liked it, not because I have some kind of urge to abuse Chekov O_o)
It's better to fly and it's better to diegelsey on June 13th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
LMAO. Yes, perhaps a smidge wrong, but hilarious.

Chekov is, unfortunately, too easy to abuse b/c of his cuteness and age. Poor guy.

Thanks so much!
saavikam77: Chekov/Sulusaavikam77 on June 13th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, gods, Pavel! O_O *wibble*
It's better to fly and it's better to diegelsey on June 14th, 2009 11:55 am (UTC)
I know. Poor baby :(

Thanks for reading and commenting!
Lily Briscoe's Bathtime Disco: The Cranes Are Flyinglah_de_dah on June 13th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
Oh god, this is amazing ;_; It's such a vivid idea and so well-written. Poor Chekov. Poor Bones. It makes me almost well up but I love it.

Full marks for angst!

x
It's better to fly and it's better to diegelsey on June 14th, 2009 12:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I know, they're both so bad off right now :( Thanks so much!

(Gotta love angst. I think I love it too much...)
Jenna-Maria: Oswinstained_red_lip on February 15th, 2013 09:15 pm (UTC)
Only just found this thanks to a link on tumblr and this is such a beautiful (if heartbreaking) story. It's just a shame it's so short. x
It's better to fly and it's better to diegelsey on February 15th, 2013 10:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! I appreciate you taking the time to comment (And someone taking the time to link to it!). I'm glad you liked it :)